Isn’t it creepy to be a woman in the UAE?
Hmmm, no. I love being a woman in the UAE. It’s nicer than being a woman in the UK and it’s nicer than being a woman in New Delhi. I don’t know what it’s like to be an ARAB woman in the UAE, but being an Indian girl in Sharjah, a tourist not a student, it’s great. This place is extremely child-safe and child-friendly. If it wasn’t for the lack of naturalness and high salt content in the air and all the sand and weird economic conditions, this might be the ideal place to bring up one’s kids (my current most highly recommended place to bring up kids is Cyprus…). While driving around the city you cant help noticing how the giant advertisement boards are missing pictures of naked or half naked women. You can’t help noticing how pleasant it is to see real men and women who are pretty, no doubt, and made up; but clothed, decent, and with good taglines for ads (letting the focus be on the content of the product/service rather than sex). I really miss that in India. It’s not as bad in India as it is in some parts of the world (yet), but it’s just so beautiful in the UAE. It makes you look at women like real women people.
I have a lot of respect for women in the UAE. Part of it comes from the social restrictions placed on them, which they deal with really well and that takes strength, and part of it comes from the values they learn and grow into, and don’t rebel against “just because the liberated west tells them to”. This is a controversial subject and I don’t wanna fight with anyone on my diary, so I’ll just keep these thoughts to myself. Lol.
One thing I really wanna say though is, you don’t have to be anorexic to be beautiful. UAE women are evidence of that. And to everyone who thinks that women here are weak because they don’t “stand up for themselves”, or whatever, that looks to me like a really big mistake and a complete inability to see the metal that it would take to hold on to your roots and stay in your own limits of beauty and social liberty, and be strong enough to resist the wave of physical/sexual beauty that has swept and captured so many other countries. To keep yourself from being influenced by a temptation to “be like them” takes strength. To calmly face all the uninformed accusations against you takes strength. To put all useless talk aside and look after yourself or your job or your family whatever the case is for you… that takes strength.
I realise that I don’t even know any women here, and maybe they actually do feel oppressed or whatever. If this is true, it would not be my lack of knowledge but their lack of Jesus. I can’t think of any environment more conducive for the growth of a woman than this place. I would love it if New Delhi learnt some lessons from Sharjah about how to treat its women. But if you have different priorities… it’s just Jesus that is missing. From here or from Delhi or anywhere else. Lord Jesus, come. Sigh.
November 17, 2006 at 2:53 pm
[...] I’m sure those who enjoy reading The Lord’s Fish will also enjoy Diana’s travelling diary. She is in the United Arab Emirates right now. Her latest post is on Women In The UAE. Also, her mum has a journal online now. [...]
November 17, 2006 at 4:56 pm
Let me just say I disagree strongly…
November 17, 2006 at 7:20 pm
of course you would, sporadic. you have the feminist bug. lol
God bless.
hayseed, thanks for the pingback!
November 18, 2006 at 4:18 am
[...] Tiffanie, Donna, Diana, [...]
November 18, 2006 at 11:21 pm
Excellent thoughts; great post! Thanks for sharing. I’m on a bit of a journey myself, so I don’t have much time to comment, but I’m really enjoying reading about your holiday.
-bill
November 19, 2006 at 5:17 am
hey bill! where are you journeying to?
are you going to tell us all about it?
i love arab women i am thinking of asking them about this. what i’ve written here is purely how my eyes see what is around me, but there are women like sporadicblogger who feel it goes beyond what i see, i think. i wanna just do a random survey… ask them what its like to be a woman here. if God wills that i get such chance..
sharla thanks for pingback
November 19, 2006 at 2:18 pm
arab women…you mean UAE women. No random survey is even halfway complete unless you survey also those who are of a different economic background and/or social strata. Or you could just switch on discovery travel and living and get the feedback of burqa clad women in iraq. and turkey. Religious women. Who disagree with you as well
November 19, 2006 at 2:19 pm
arab women…you mean Sharjah/Dubai women. No random survey is even halfway complete unless you survey also those who are of a different economic background and/or social strata. Or you could just switch on discovery travel and living and get the feedback of burqa clad women in iraq. and turkey. Religious women. Who disagree with you as well
November 19, 2006 at 2:26 pm
The second l;ast post can be deleted. I meant sharjah/dubai women.
November 19, 2006 at 5:35 pm
u didnt even notice the photo of me in a burqha!
i put a picture of me up on my blog for the first time ever and NOBODY cares.
*cries*
lol
November 20, 2006 at 3:02 am
I noticed it… but I didn’t know it was you… because “you’re” hidden.
Can I ask… do you feel like a woman if you’re wearing a burka?
I’m totally in agreement that men should be men and women should be women, this is wonderful. And to not be obsessed with sex and sales sleaze. Awesome. Refreshing. Relaxing.
But I don’t get the “I feel like a woman” comment. Is this because you’re in a burka or… what? I must have misunderstood. How can you feel feminine when you’re unable to visually or physically express your femininity?
Bless you!
Mark.
November 20, 2006 at 7:34 am
Hi Mark,
The “feel like a woman” post was about me learning to cook and sending two men off to work
nothing to do with the burqha. But I like burqhas.
And being physically hidden doesnt make me less woman?
November 20, 2006 at 8:02 am
That’s YOU????? I just read yours & Mark’s conversation and realized what you said. How incredible is this to see the beautiful eyes of Diana….
I did a lot of college study on the culture in the 10/40 window of the world and similar physically conservative cultures. The way we dress in America now would be given a promiscuous judgement by an American onlooker from 100 years ago.
I think that women today, in my culture, do not dress so much to address their desire to express their femininity but actually to fill an internal need of whatever (attention, value, cultural worth)…all things which will not be gained longterm through dress.
Through my studies of women in extreme conservative cultures, this modest dress represents respect for their culture & respect for women. Though it may seem strange when not around such cultures. Once you get to the heart of the women and family thinking, it quite probably would be discovered that this is a highly esteemed attire by women living in these cultures.
I’m still excited that this picture is of you Diana….wow, how exciting!
sweet dreams. I’m heading off to sleep.
: )
Sharla
November 20, 2006 at 10:49 am
Yup Shar it’s me
lol. This photo is a few years old but I thought it fit with this post. I wish I had an excuse to dress in a burqha, I would love to be “part of the crowd” here. It would be nice to wear a long black robe and a headscarf and a silver cross around my neck ooh how would people take that, I wonder? lol
Sweet dreams!
Diana
November 21, 2006 at 1:37 am
Hi Diana
> And being physically hidden doesnt make me less
> woman
Cool. I have no idea of course. That’s why I was stepping out and asking – because I’d like to know what your thoughts and feelings are about it.
It just seems weird to me that men get to wear nice shirts and females wear black. Women are the beautiful ones… God intended them to BE beautiful. Hiding themselves seems… somehow “wrong”. But of course, this is all cultural – and I’m not happy with the extremes to which the culture I live in has gone to, in terms of exposing women and taking advantage of their beauty.
Both the western culture and the burqa seem both to be *extremes*, balance in the middle (modesty) seems right to me.
My goal is to understand this from your perspective. It’s confusing to me.
Cya,
Mark.
November 21, 2006 at 6:36 am
Oh Mark! No no no, when the women wear black, the men wear white. They have similar clothes. If the men are dressed in western clothes, so are the women. Here in the UAE I do not see men and women walking looking opposites. They dress the same way. Either both conservative or both modern
so the masculine men wear their white robes and headgear, while the feminine women wear their black robes and headscarves. It’s not unequal at all. I think it’s very beautiful when both men and women dress conservatively. It’s also nice when they dress modestly even when their clothes are western.
I don’t like the idea of men being “liberated” and women being “oppressed”. It is good when they are both on the same level, either of conservatism or of modernism. And if I were to wear a burqha it doesn’t mean I would ask men around me to wear traditional clothes too, I would wear a burqha as a matter of choice. But if someone else were to try to set a rule for me, I would rather they followed it themselves first.
Being a woman is so much more than just looking like a woman. Or showing off our womanhood or femininity or whatever. It’s easy to look like a woman and not act like one. But when one acts like a woman and gives thanks for being a woman, it matters less what others think of her physical appearance…
God bless you Mark
Diana
November 21, 2006 at 5:37 pm
Sharla, quoting you- “Through my studies of women in extreme conservative cultures, this modest dress represents respect for their culture & respect for women. Though it may seem strange when not around such cultures. Once you get to the heart of the women and family thinking, it quite probably would be discovered that this is a highly esteemed attire by women living in these cultures.”
I am from a culture that is considered ‘conservative’ by many. By modest dress-one can mean many things, and I dare say I clothre myself often enough in immodest clothes- but I respect myself, women, and humanity no less when doing so.
Don’t you think it is the intention that matters when dressing and not the fnal clothes? One can be vulgar in a burqa and most elegant in the most revealing clothes.
I like my body and that, and not the clothes, define me, i feel. So its my body that ‘clothes’ me, ccording to me, and I dress not to see how people react to me/the clothes, but to please me and express the way I’m feeling.
aridhi-what would be your take on the unwesternised tribes of india (and elsewhere) who don’t wear any clothes? They sure dont do it for tittilating purposes.
November 22, 2006 at 3:13 am
Hi Sporadic.
Mmmm… these are interesting questions. Nudity in a culture where everyone culturally expects it, surely is fine.
But we live in a world where if we found a nude culure, Borat would go and make a mockumentary of them and they would be shamed and their culture would be destroyed because of tourists.
So I’m saying, there is no one answer to all this. We just have to be determined to be equal-but-different-roles and be determined to be modest. These are relative terms and they are relative to what culture we are in and to what we see around us.
Cya,
Mark.
November 22, 2006 at 3:15 am
Hi Diana
Yes I saw the white male burka while I was in Dahab (Egypt). It is very masculine, you’re right.
If the man wears white and the woman wears what she wants (no domination of her) – then that is truly very attractive. Romantic even.
You live in India right? And now you’re in the Emirates (and loving it). Would you seriously consider wearing a burqa in India?
Bless you!
Mark.
November 22, 2006 at 7:41 am
sporadic,
you said — “I like my body and that, and not the clothes, define me, i feel. So its my body that ‘clothes’ me, ccording to me, and I dress not to see how people react to me/the clothes, but to please me and express the way I’m feeling.
aridhi-what would be your take on the unwesternised tribes of india (and elsewhere) who don’t wear any clothes? They sure dont do it for tittilating purposes.”—
——-
In your case it does seem true that you dress for yourself and not for attention. But that doesn’t mean you wont get unwanted attention. And it also doesn’t mean that other people don’t dress for attention. And for people like me, I lived many years of my life having a terrible dress sense (and I think you told me that in almost those exact words last year LOL) and I still haven’t discovered how to dress “well”. Clothes don’t please me and very clearly they (my clothes lol) don’t impress other people. That used to upset me! The way people look and dress and walk and talk is definitely something society uses a lot to judge people with. You have confidence to look past that and not care, but there are MANY women and men who fall because of this dress thing, and I was “fallen” in it too at one point. Your dressing to please yourself is great, but I don’t see how it would “please me” to dress in a way that caused other people to stumble. I didn’t used to think this way, but it’s very clear to me now. People and love and togetherness and unity is so much more important than clothes and food and other things.. so if I know it is sin for a man to look lustfully at his neighbour’s wife, I as the neighbour’s wife should take care that I specifically do not lead him towards sinful thoughts. If the cultural standard is not to wear clothes, then this woman by not wearing clothes is not specifically causing her neighbour to fall. The intention is worth a lot more than the act. So you say you’re not dressing in revealing clothes to cause other men to fall. But in law there is a principle of direct and remote damages. Could a reasonable man foresee the damage which would be caused by his action? And those damages are payable which are foreseeable to a reasonable man.
For example, I forgot to clean the snow in front of my house, and my neighbour a young girl came by my house and slipped. I am liable for the damages of her slipping and getting hurt, it was obvious that someone could slip on this snow. But if she breaks her leg and her fiance breaks their engagement and her parents suffer a nervous breakdown, I’m not liable for all that. Similarly if you step out of your house wearing revealing clothes, it is foreseeable that men would look lustfully at you and women might look enviously at you, whether or not you intended for them to slip on your snow. It may cause no physical or visible damage, but is it worth it to please yourself with your bodily beauty at the cost of a weaker person’s conscience. For you it may be, for me it is not. Either way we are not set as judges over each other, but if I wanna dress in a burqha (and I would love to) it would be because I’m sick of everything being about sex and sales and physical appearances, and I would like to be “hidden” not because I don’t love this beautiful body which the Lord has put on me but because I hate the way people look at it and I would like them to see my heart and not my body. Wearing a burqha doesn’t mean I’m ashamed of the way I look and neither is it a permanent thing which can’t come off. I can wear it if I want to and take it off if I want to.
November 22, 2006 at 7:50 am
Mark,
If my family allowed it, I would truly love to wear a burqha even in India. Actually maybe wearing a burqha would invite attention in India so I might not, but in the UAE if my family allowed it I would wear a burqha for sure. In India we do have conservative options to western clothes, and for the last few months I have mostly been dressing in salwar kameezes which are pretty modest and nice to look at. I am wearing a salwaar kameez even here in the UAE right now actually. Western clothes are nice but so are traditional clothes. I feel comfortable in anything that doesn’t call me to attention. hehe
burqhas in the UAE are very effective for that.
God bless you,
Diana
November 22, 2006 at 8:40 am
The salwaar kameez looks AWESOME. That’s one of the things that I love about indian culture – the culture!
http://www.garmentsonclick.com/images/apperals1.gif
https://www.sirindia.com/Products/images/10118311.jpg
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shalwar_kameez
November 22, 2006 at 8:46 am
Hi Diana
Your reply to sporadic really shows your commitment to a healthy marriage, not just your own but to preserving other people’s marriages. I totally respect that.
On a side note you keep mentioning showing things to Paul – who is Paul? And while I’m at it, is bhaiyya your brother?
Bless you,
Mark.
November 22, 2006 at 9:09 am
Mark,
he writes the blog called “not all about rabbits” in my blogroll.
but the Bhaiyya I write about when I talk about “Dad and Bhaiyya”, is my cousin who is on this trip with us. He’s a fun guy, I have been telling him stories everyday but haven’t got much chance to “fish” yet. Praying… lol.
I think it’s great when wives and husbands share a healthy married life together. Do you read Sharla’s blog, @ erlandsonfamily.wordpress.com (“raindrops of sunshine” in my blogroll)? She is a blessing, she writes a lot about her marriage and family life, and oh her kids are so cute. I am inspired by her excitement and eagerness to constantly build up her home and the church.
Paul is my best friend and a brother in Christ and he’s a wonderfully bible-centred person. And we hope and are praying that the Lord has plans for us…
Bhaiyya means brother, yes. So you are my bhaiyya in Christ
God bless you!
Diana
November 22, 2006 at 10:57 am
btw Mark,
the first picture isn’t a salwaar kameez it’s just a shirt with a skirt. sorry! The second and third links are good yep
November 23, 2006 at 4:44 am
Wow, I’ve been so busy in life that I didn’t get to connect to this conversation until now. Wow, I read “sporadic’s” reflections and then was excited to post some thoughts. Then I read your reflections Diana and was not expecting such a thorough thought. Your thoughts are so important to think about. You articulated so detailed and with such conviction, that I was left feeling sort of complete in your thoughts, feeling nothing in addition to benefit the conversation.
This is something hard to wrap our fingers around in culture here in America. Search for conservative would mean just that……a true efforted search. All the clothing racks have a low cut standard.
In contrast, I remember my brother telling me of a story when he was in Mali, Africa. He had gone to the post office and a few women were there and had received a package that had some bras in it…as I think the story goes. They were trying them on their half naked bodies. When my brother walked in to the post office, the girls were so embarassed that they quickly took the bras off to their normal (unclothed) attire.
Culture definitely dictates and it will always be a daily conscious effort to live a life in such a way that does not cause another to stumble. Building others up without causing an inner discontent for something outside of their marriage, wishing better, something else. People give up too easily in marriages in America, really most anywhere in the world. It isn’t so much that there is better or prettier out there. It is more so we don’t work and put true effort into the relationship we have.
Cameron & I were looking at a house today, having it inspected. The furnace is near broken for the simple reason that the people who owned it didn’t seek any maintenance of it. None. Not even changing the filter. They paid probably $100 more a month in home energy loss due to their lack of maintenance. A marriage with no effort only heaps trouble. Spice, creativity, effort, playfulness, attention. I know I’m sort of getting off the subject and actually just sort of rambling at this point. It’s true though. Sillyness has really been part of Cam’s and my relationship the 7 1/2 years we’ve been married. But, we’ve been so busy lately that I was realizing that we’ve lost a lot of our sillyness and have replaced it with ordinary/normal/busy and I can even sense in this that I need to shut a few things out and put conscious effort to bring playfulness back, even if this season of life is so very intense & busy for us.
Just thinking out loud. Yikes, I bet this will be a long thought on your post.
Diana, I just know you will be a lifelong friend. I feel like we’ve had many face to face conversations sipping (let’s see) juice together (since you aren’t a coffee drinker) already even an ocean away.
Thanks for your encouraging support where you know you gave it. It brought an instant smile & blessed heart.
You are such a treasure and I just have a feeling that we will chat in person someday in one of these years coming up.
Okay, will be back. Off to sleep. Happy Thanksgiving! And, since you probably aren’t celebrating this holiday……Happy THURSDAY!!!!
: )
Shar
November 23, 2006 at 5:09 am
I am excited for you and Paul.
November 26, 2006 at 1:02 pm
Sharla, thanks for thinking out loud here I’m glad you shared. You’re always a blessing. And Mark, I’m excited too! hehehe